Frequently asked Q&A

What is one lesson that you wish everyone knew about parenting?

You don't Need to be Perfect just be more Present and take more photos with your children (that's for us Moms)

In the moment it is the hardest job you can have its one that begins with a whole life change and for the next 18 years minimum you are responsible for a whole person and their furthe any decisions or choices or even mistakes you make directly impact another persons life. And when people tell us cherish it because before we know it they will be grown it seems redundant because we know that but how do you cherish the moment when the moment is chaos and overwhelming and there is meals to be cooked, places to be (on time) homework, housework and what ever else is going on in that moment. So instead I want to say as a Mom of bigs, I don't look back and regret not disciplining more, giving them what they wanted or not being stricter not making them study more or do more chores. I look back and I regret not enjoying the little moments more, for running around like a “headless chicken” at any and all family events for them instead of just being with them, none of my children remembers the details of how clean the house was (within reason) or how nice the display looked they remember little things like me singing in the car or us laughing and messing together the little things, that one time you brunt those cookies that never gets forgotten no matter how many more cookies were made after the fact because we laughed so hard about it , the ones we never actually think mean much in the moment and I sometimes I'll lie awake and regret not doing more of those things, so don't try to perfect just be present that's all your little one needs really and who cares what anyone else says or thinks it's about making lasting memories with your babies so that long after your days they have memories that fill them up with love when they think of us

What are some common misconceptions about anger in children that parents should be aware of?

Anger stems from not being able to put your feelings of pain or your needs and wants into words, feeling unheard or frustrated and also not having the ability to process emotions yet. (I say yet but there are plenty of adults that still do not know how to do so and it will come out as anger). I'm a firm believer that before you can be punished for your behaviour (as a child) first you have to be given the tools and the words for how to process and express it better and that is the parent's or caregivers' job. I see a lot of adults expecting children to be better able to self-regulate than they are and more often than not if you step back and look at a parent's reactions or response to being overwhelmed or frustrated manifests itself in a similar way to their children's “anger”. Also as parents, we tend to get the brunt of our child's anger because they feel safe with us. Instead of punishment a child first needs a release of the built-up emotions and then they need to be shown how to identify what caused that feeling. to us it may seem pretty insignificant but have you ever tried to open a jar and not been able to get to the much-wanted contents well that probably the same feeling a child gets w hen the square won't fit in a circle space or the dog won't do as its told or t hey didn't plan on wearing pants and now mom is insisting on it. It's okay to express/feel frustration and all the other emotions and then we learn what helps us process them so we don't get angry and take it out on others, ourselves or our environment. And sometimes people react without meaning to and it makes us human beings and that's where we learn how to be humble admit our flaws and work better on ourselves to show we are trying to do better. By the time their adults, they will know there is a time and place to release their tensions and how to take responsibility for how they feel and react.

I have a three-year-old son. He won’t eat by himself unless I feed him myself. Is it okay to do that?

Whatever you need to do to make this journey easier and cause yourself less worry do it and from a mom of teen boys cherish every spoonful he allows you to feed him because before you know it even touching his food will be gross because we are gross and embarrassing all to quickly.. It's normal for a small child to still want their mothers to do things for them growing up and the big changes that come with leaving those toddler years behind can sometimes cause them to want mom to do more for them for a short time before independence sets in and mealtimes become a long drawn out ‘I can do it’ deal.. Every child is different and will do things quicker when they can do it at their own pace, Im yet to see a full grown man sitting down to a meal with his mother on hand to feed him so anyone that tells you otherwise is wrong and I say that with chest 🥰💙more here

What are some challenges faced by single mothers in raising their children without a father figure? Is it difficult for women to be good mothers?

It's difficult to play the role of mother and father to switch between provider and nurturer, it requires her to be both the masculine and the feminine in the home taking on all tasks single handed but it doesn't not take away nor does it determine her ability to be a good parent. More detailed information on Moms Matters blog.. ⏬⏬ 
https://www.momsmatters.com/moms-blog/1470622_solo-parenting-not-for-the-weak

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