Things I Wish I Knew About Breastfeeding.

A Fed Baby is a Happy Baby No matter how baby is getting the right nutrients as long as they are getting them then you are winning as a mother.
Every Mother, Baby and families circumstances are different, One of the first things you will learn as a parent (usually during pregnancy) is that no matter how much you plan anything it can all change in a second, life and baby can have other plans… I’m a pretty "go with the flow kind of person" but I know plenty of mothers who plan ahead to the T and they will all tell a tale from the early days of motherhood, when they realised no matter how organised you were baby does what baby wants and plan goes out the window. If breastfeeding is the route you’re going to try and it is possible for you and baby, I suggest “Plan around the baby in the first few months until you can establish a routine (then you plan around their routine) this can cause less stress and pressure. Get use to saying "Baby is Boss" for at least the first 3-4 months and letting all else slide.  

It’s Hard, it is Lonely, it’s Sore and it is exhausting but that milk drunk face, little finger grasps and quiet snuggles with baby will make it all worth it. Watching them grow and reach milestones with a certain pride knowing you made them and give them all they need is such an amazing feeling. Also not having to do the nightly bottles is always a win.

SUPPORT is vital this is something that’s not spoken about enough a nursing mother needs time, rest, nutritious food and fluids( preferably someone to cook for us and serve it up around the time baby is due a feed?! A girl can dream and this would've been one of mine daily probably still is if I'm honest),

Having a good support system in place to help provide these things, while your supply is developing ,and you are recovering,  Stress, illness, medications and many other factors can interfere with your milk supply leading to both mother and baby being frustrated and overwhelmed, It can also lead to even more problems if you have other children who need you and all your time is spent nursing your newborn. They all need a functioning mother and wearing yourself out to the point of breaking isn’t going to benefit anyone and can play a role in the "baby blues" or postnatal depression.
When baby eats mum eats always !! I remember at times baby would feed all night (growth spurts are a real thing for the nursing mother). I’d feel so exhausted in the mornings that I began to bring snacks and water to bed at night to nibble on and it really helped, Always remember the only bad way to struggle is to struggle alone and doing what is right for you and your family is not failing EVER.

Judgement and Embarrassment this is something that comes hand in hand with feeding your baby. And it’s disgusting!! **edit*** After a conversation with a friend (currently "nursing"), it reminded me to add...Its never ok to ask and nor is it anybody's business how long a mother intends to breastfeed their baby for, I had forgotten (it's been almost 20years) how many times people had questioned me once baby hits 6 months old on when I was going to started giving a bottle?! Answer ah never?!  a "sippy" cup and solids is what comes next usually and when are we going to stop well  around the same age you'd get rid of the bottles completely anywhere between 2 or 3 years usually depending solely on each mother and baby. As she put it and I loved it " WHEN WE ARE READY" so please don't ask. 

I understand that some people are uncomfortable with the female body but that’s a you problem and a very immature one. I never fed either of mine without a cover, but as baby grows they get curious and will often slip away without warning leaving you exposed.. I never interacted much with anyone unless they approached me first and have on multiple occasions been asked to nurse in a restroom to which I would laugh and say if you would like to eat you meal in the restroom feel free.

My sons are teens now so the attitude has thankful improved greatly since then, it seems to be the more popular of the two now, more and more we see mothers in public Nursing, It makes me proud that we have taken some baby steps in the right direction in this country.

Take a good look at your clothing, you need to think loose,simple, easy and quick to slip down or up and loose nursing bras are a must. (Always have a change of clothes for mum as well as baby if you are leaving the house especially in the early days)  Blocked milk ducts are not pleasant and can easily become mastitis (pain, tenderness, redness and accompanied by a fever are all indicators of an infection), Tight fitted clothes can play a role in this. Breast pads are also a must, you will be wearing just as much milk as you are feeding especially in the early days (there is nothing quite as humbling as to be stood having a conversation with a stranger and feel their gaze shift to the two growing wet patches right where your breast are). You should also invest in a mattress protector or waterproof sheets, or you will be rewarding yourself with a new mattress once baby has been weaned. A good pump is also a worthwhile purchase even if you intended to nurse baby only, It's always handy to have a backup supply in your freezer, it can also come in handy if you do suffer from a blocked duct as you can "pump and dump" to try to unclog the duct, Nursing baby on the side that is sore is also important despite the pain. Baby will hopefully unclog the duct( nothing to worry about and baby will usually spit up afterwards.) Always make sure baby is emptying each side before switching this can also prevent duets from becoming blocked.

You can’t measure breast milk from boob to baby like you can with a bottle, So you learn to measure how content your baby is, weather there are wet and dirty nappies the colour of their poop (a very good indicator for a poorly baby is a change in the color or consistency of the stools), weather or not baby is settled and sleeping well (a good cue is how relaxed baby feels, if baby is tense with clench fists, fussing and rooting then it is usual a sign they're hungry or in discomfort), you learn to listen to your instincts and learn your baby's' cries. Believe it or not your body will begin to leak milk and feel full when baby is due a feed( that’s an experience all in itself the first time it happens).

Having my oldest and being a young mother as well as the only mother that was breastfeeding on my hospital ward (Ireland in 2004) at the time, The nurses were constantly questioning whether or not my child was being fed enough?! My Peacefully sleeping, quiet baby with wet and dirty nappies might not be ok?!  I was encouraged to take a bath after a complicated birth and returned to find a nurse forcing my sleeping baby a Syringe full of formula, I had said no to bottles until my supply was developed. Needless to say an emotional, engorged mother and upset baby didn’t sleep so well that night. Had I not been well educated in the art that is nursing and babies, I would have questioned myself, my choices and my abilities and probably caved, but i just wanted to get out of there and home to my own comforts, I trusted my instincts and so far almost 20 years later he's a thriving young man.

YES In some cases your milk can dry up or not come in, And for many other reasons it may not be possible, in these cases your baby will not settle, I can promise that if you are paying attention, you will know something is wrong!? When my youngest was 7 months old my milk supply was low and not as beneficial as it should have been, he was restless at night and didn’t seem quiet as peaceful as he had been, I was struggling with personal stuff and although I had milk I knew within 2 days I couldn’t keep up with babies needs. That day I felt like a failure as I stopped on the school run to buy formula (trials and error and eventually goats milk was the one we settled on). I cried through his first bottle feed, but he was content and peaceful and I got a proper (moms) nights sleep for the first time in months, luckily it was an easy transition. I did feel guilt but it went away very fast when I accepted he just needed that extra bit. My body was physically exhausted and there was no possible way I could keep myself going and keep up with him I was doing us both a huge favour, Still to this day he eats more than my other son and get hangry easily (my future rugby player).

There is no such thing as failing your child in this choice… weather you choose to nurse or bottle feed, you are feeding your baby exactly what baby needs to be fed. Neither are the easier option both can be mentally and physically exhausting, each have their own set of struggles, challenges and rewards. Both have the nutrients babies need to thrive and reach developing milestones. Even if you were breastfeeding and couldn’t maintain it, had to return to work or have other kids that still need your help and attention, You didn’t let baby down you made sure that despite the challenges, baby is still getting what they need that’s a win in my eyes.

You see or hear “Breast is Best” and yes while a mothers milk is specifically tailored for her baby, it isn’t always best, When a mother is physically and nutritional depleted, exhausted and is struggling with her supply, Your nutrition and lifestyle play a HUGE role not only in maintaining your supply but also the quality of your milk, like pregnancy there are a list of foods you should avoid and also a list of foods that should be incorporated into your dietary intake to maintain babies needs.

Although breastfeeding can promote and develop a stronger, healthier bond between mothers and their babies so can bottle feeding, when you take the time as a one to one experience, not only that but it gives others a chance to bond with baby and gives mum a chance to take a well needed break or find another job that needs doing.

I still remember the first time one of my brothers gave my son his bottle, I had raised both of my children alone at this point nobody else had ever fed either of them in anyway. Watching someone else be able to give my son what he needed when I couldn’t (he wouldn’t latch on to the bottle for me he just wanted to nurse and could smell me and the milk this can be a common problem when switching), someone other than me comforting him tugged at my heart strings and made me feel a little less of a failure that day, he was content and “chilled” for ages afterwards in his uncles arms. “ I have many stories about my youngest and his uncle they have had an amazing bond since he was a baby, I’m sure they have both long forgotten it but I do think that played a role. He was actually the first bottle fed baby in our large family.

I personally never say I prefer one over the other because there are so many personal reasons that come into play for both parent and baby, you never know what a mother wanted to do or what got in the way so I don’t have an opinion on other people’s needs or choices. If asked I give my personal experiences and offer support and advice that worked for me,

I will always say I personally found breastfeeding with my oldest to be a walk in the park he was my first, I was young and I had grown up with my mother and other mothers nursing their babies (if I’m being honest it was bottle feeding that was the stranger to me). My oldest was a very difficult newborn but it still came naturally and I was very determined with no distraction. I both nursed and then bottle fed my youngest and it was the smartest hardest but best decision I made at that time I don’t regret it and my life looked very different when he was a newborn, I had a young child in school and was parenting alone with little to no support system. My diet left a lot to be desired(usually coffee and what ever left overs my son didn't want). I wasn’t doing me or baby any favours trying to peruse nursing him. "Throwing in the towel" is something that is so hard but sometimes your clinging onto an idea as opposed to what is actually for the best…
Both had pros and cons and both my boys are growing into strong young men.

Never be afraid to reach out to the professionals or a trusted person who can give support and advice. Books are also a great (old school) source of information.
Sometimes all you need is someone calm and confident to hold baby, simply because the more baby is overstimulated or overwhelmed, fusses and cries the more it triggers the mothers “maternal switch” that something is "wrong"?!  Babies can sense the mother is stressed or worried, this then causes a cycle of worked up over whelmed mother more worked up overstimulated baby, If you don’t have support or have to go it alone, There is nothing "wrong" with placing baby in their crib safely once all their immediate needs have been seen to but aren't working to soothe baby, Take a moment to pause and breath and remind yourself baby needs you to feel calm so they can feel safe, they will settle and nurse easier then.

When I hear it takes a village I think of moments like these, who better to seek advice from then the elders of "your village" who have raised generations of babies, with their experience it makes navigating these moments easier. ( AHH Simpler times now we go to google who has never even held a baby, never mind one who shares the same genetics are your own). 

If you listen to you instincts you will know what your baby needs, Trust them! They are what nature has given all mothers to be able to communicate with our young from just a simple movement or cry. "Nobody knows baby better than Mom". If you are here seeking to relate or for advice or tips then you are a mother who can trust her instincts.