We all start full of good intentions and big plans whether it is exercise and diet-related or just Personal Goals we've set for ourselves,
We begin by telling ourselves this is it!! I'm gonna change my whole life, I'm gonna fit into those favourite pair of jeans I wore way before I had kids and I can't bring myself to part with but can't even squeeze my thighs into now, I'm gonna jog 5km every morning (although I'm not even sure I've ever walked 5km) or how far that even is, I'm going to organise my whole house and it's never going to be a mess again. And then you don't reach all those unreachable targets you've set for yourself after that first day or one piece of lettuce and a brisk walk or the children pulling out every item of clothing to find that one piece they want and leaving your freshly organised draws in a pile on the floor, so you comfort yourself with a packet of biscuits or your favourite take away and then beat yourself up for a week about getting back on the diet, being fit and put together perfectly at all times, or the Queen of clean and it just becomes a never-ending spiral.
The reason behind this is Self-Worth and Self-Talk.
You feel guilty or bad so you're not motivated instead you're getting in your OWN way with all the stuff your head is saying, you look at your reflection and I bet you don't say how nice your hair is or how good you look when you smile, when was the last time you looked at yourself and complimented yourself?! So with that said let's dive in as we look at some tried and proven methods to stop that spiral from even beginning:
Tip #1: Will Always Be~Self-Talk:
Even if you find 5 flaws straight away I want you to start each day by saying I like myself and list one thing you like just start with one you can build on it every day by adding one more. For some that can be so hard we've been taught that self-love is selfish and egotistical but it's not! In order to be able to give the right kind of love, encouragement and support to our families and friends, you must first love yourself. Start with a specific skill set you have and praise yourself for that- do you work well under pressure? (if you are a mom the answer is yes)! do you bake well? Are you the go-to for your friends and family if they need advice or support? Are you having a great hair day?! Do you bounce back after a setback and manage to stay relatively positive despite a million reasons not to? The list can start with something as simple as telling yourself I'm a great friend, I love how quickly I can pull things together when someone needs me, I love how my eyes sparkle when I'm feeling happy etc, and yes I know as well as anyone how difficult this really is liking myself and saying it into a mirror was at one stage a task that filled me with embarrassment and shame. Even though nobody else was going to know I used to wince as though in pain at the thought. But you keep saying it till you believe it and your brain will too and then suddenly you will find yourself giving yourself little compliments without even trying. You want to teach your daughters especially that it's ok to love ourselves and see our own worth. The world is a critical place that can chew you up and spit you out again especially now we have the perfection of social media to compete with, do not let your inner dialogue be negative Otherwise you will never get a break or feel motivated what's the point will sound a lot easier. “Because You Are Worth It” and “Because You Do Deserve it”, (Incase you need reminding of the point😉).
2: Change One Thing At A Time:
Eat that healthy choice, take that walk, declutter that draw (you know the one, the Drawer of Doom that if one of the children opens looking for batteries isn't going to close easily) and that's it, No big list of to-do's to lose weight or feel better or accomplish overwhelming tasks just one step closer every day. Tomorrow it can be 2 things if you wish but just start with just one and with no impossible goal to meet that one will eventually become a habit that you won't feel right not completing naturally. Swap a glass of water instead of that one fizzy drink, pick one healthy snack to replace one unhealthy one, cut out 1 spoon of sugar from your hot drinks. Every small step you take and accomplish gives you the motivation and encouragement to try another until one day you look back and notice you've made huge changes one baby step at a time… Invest in a nice journal and write easy achieveable tasks for each day and tick them off, Start with the everyday task like get dressed, drink 2 glasses of water, make beds, get out of the house, cooked dinner etc. The little dopamine hit we get from seeing each task get crossed off will provide our brains with the motivation we need to do the same the next day.
3: Be Kind (To You):
Ask yourself often “If I wouldn't say it to a stranger/or friend why do I say it to myself”?! Be kind to you. If your friend came to you and said I didn't stick to my intentions I slipped up.. would you belittle her and make her feel worse or would you encourage her to try again tomorrow and tell her she looks great the way she is? So why do it to yourself? I love Dr Phil's infamous line he gives to parents who are overly critical of their children, He says "It takes 1,000 'atta boys' to erase one 'you're an idiot." so take note how many times a day do you give yourself an ‘atta boy’ and how many times are you critical? You will be surprised how quickly you can turn something around by even just catching when you do it or how often.
***Always remember who's watching
4:Set Relistic Goals..
If you've never eaten healthy or exercised or been active or successful in keeping that house in show home conditions then why do you expect yourself to be able to achieve it overnight? You wouldn't walk into a hospital and expect yourself to perform a surgery so don't go in all guns blazing and beat yourself up for failing. I was raised eating healthy and I still struggle with it, on days I feel like eating badly sometimes I fight the urge and sometimes I say "lemme have that whole pack of biscuits". And I've seen the damage sugar does to the body yet it doesn't stop me from digging in on the day's I can't be bothered. But I don't keep eating badly the next day because I know I'm human and one pack of biscuits can't undo all my hard work. Muscle memory is a great thing and doesn't just apply to working out.😂
5: Make SMART Goals
Smart goals stand for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound. Using this technic will help you set and reach more achievable goals within a given time frame. For example break your overall goal down into small easily attenable goals all related to what you want to achieve as the end result and set a realistic date you want to have met your goals by. A smart goal looks something like this~ my goal is to get into a better routine with the family (and stick to it) so we start with morning and evening routines, we break down each step the morning routine will take ie. Clothes ready, breakfast and lunch prep done, bags packed the night before, each individual task listed so it can be easily ticked off and acts as a visual aid to lead you to the overall results and we are going to give ourselves 21 days to do this, So it begins to become a habit before we take our next steps, We don't worry about one night that we fell into bed exhausted and forgot to follow our steps. Why because we have 21 days what harm is one missed really going to cause? Or you might find yourself forcing yourself to jump back up again because you know from the morning before how much smoother things run with a plan. Give it a try and see if this helps. They can be applied to almost any goal you want to set and are a great tool to teach our children when it comes to setting study goals or personal goals for themselves.
6: It's OK To Fall But You Must Fall Forward.
Not even the best or most successful people got where they are because they didn't fail they got there because no matter how many times they failed they took what they learnt and they dusted themselves off and they tried again and again and each time they failed they knew what to do differently and each fail brought them closer to success because they "fell forward" they learnt from their mistakes and didn't quit. Les Brown is the perfect person to explain this Theory.. try listening to his motivational talk I have linked about how he got his first job as a Disc Jockey as a young man. This theory can be applied to any aspect of your life. it's okay to fail but it is never okay to quit because if you quit you will always wonder what if.
Finally,
I'm sure most of you have heard about the 80/20 rule in some form or other Why?! Well because it's one that works!
It implies that anything you do is 80% of one and only 20% of the other in order to be successful at something. In personal training, we can apply it to “dieting” (I secretly hate that word 🙉 you are making better lifestyle choices and it doesn't sound as daunting when it's a positive as opposed to how you feel when you say “I can't…I'm on a diet” does it? ) but simply put if you want to lose weight or maintain a healthy lifestyle it takes only 20% actual exercise and 80% is what you choose to fuel your body with so ~ 20% exercise < 80% diet. You want to do something new it takes 20% thinking or planning and 80% action, If you want to learn a new skill it takes 20% of watching/learning and 80% practice. They also say if you want to learn something new you listen 80% of the time and talk for 20%, When you talk you are only saying what you already know.. Or as I like to put it listen twice talk once (2 Ears, 1 mouth). Remember that Failing is a natural part of life and it's where we learn the most, failing is always better than never trying in the first place. I'd much rather be sitting on the ground out of breath with tears and sweat streaming down my face knowing I gave it my all, preparing to get up and try again, knowing for next time where I went wrong, than still be sitting on the couch beating myself up for never even starting wondering where I'd be if I'd of just taking that chance in the first place.
So set yourself one achievable Goal at a time and only stop to look back to see those booty gains from those 50 (50 is only counting to 10- 5 times) squats a day you have now started doing while folding laundry each morning as the baby naps.
Let's lead by example and show our children that trying is always more important than being too frightened to fail. (And if all else fails use them watching as motivation to put one foot in front of the other and keep it moving).
Moms I have faith in you and know what us moms are capable of, I just want YOU to have that belief in YOU too.
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